Faster
by WatchingAsYouFall
Summary: This is what it looks like, this is what it feels like, and this is your heart beating faster.  Matt/Mello songfic to the song Faster by Plain White T's


[[Sonfic... MxM... Plain White T's - Faster]]

Faster

_I'm just as nervous as you  
>Last night I took one look at you<br>And I got this feeling you're the right one._

God, what the hell am I going to do? This is completely innocent, so why am I so nervous? Why is my voice shaking and why can't I keep still? Just looking at you is sending shivers down my spine. My breath is caught in my throat and I can't say a word. I can just look and watch. And I know deep down that you're the one who can pull me out of darkness, you're the only one I'd surface to see.

_Now you don't know what to do  
>Time ticks away and you got to choose<br>You know which feeling is the right one,  
>The right one<em>

"Matt, you can't help me and Near. You have to choose one of us; you have to pick a side." I was being unfair and I knew it, but I couldn't help it. I wanted you to choose me, just like I'd chosen you.

"I have chosen my side. I'm on the side that's against Kira, and if that side happens to be two thirds of a bloody triangle so be it." His eyes burned into me and I realised, I wasn't just fighting against Kira as one side of a fucked up triangle, I was fighting against everyone, Near Matt and myself included.

_This is what it looks like  
>This is what it feels like<br>And this is your heart beating faster,  
>Faster<em>

I was screaming in your face, but you were being the same stoic jerk as usual. You looked up from your stupid game and suddenly I was aware of how close we were. Our faces less than an inch apart.

"Matt, please just put down you Legend of Fantasy game or whatever the hell it is and help me."

You opened your mouth and began to talk but all I could do was focus on the smell of your breath washing over my face.

_I'll lose my voice  
>If you won't make a choice<br>I'll lose my head  
>If you go to him again<br>I'll lose my mind  
>If you won't take me back tonight<br>Take me back tonight_

"Matt, please," I begged. I was stood in the pouring rain and you were about to leave again. I knew where you were going. "I need you, Matt. I need you here."

"I can't stay here, Mello. You treat me like I one of your stupid hired mafia dicks. I'm meant to be your friend, and you treat me like I'm a machine."

"Don't go to him, please," I said. Every word that left his mouth was the truth. Every word meant something and cut me like a knife. "I'll never win without, Matt. I'll lose whatever's left of my sanity before I finish. Give me another chance, please. Give me one last chance."

_I hope I'm not pressuring you  
>That's the last thing I'd ever want to do<br>Cause you know which feeling's the right one  
>The right one<em>

You ran your hands through your rain-drenched hair and pushed your goggles up to your forehead. I prepared myself for the worst.

"Fine," you whispered. "This is the last time, Mello. One more time and I'll either go to Near, or I'll hunt Kira on my own."

My eyes widened, I couldn't believe it, but then, people always told me I had the Devil's luck.

_This is what it looks like  
>This is what it feels like<br>And this is your heart beating faster,  
>Faster<em>

I made a coffee and grabbed some chocolate before sitting next to you on the sofa. "Here," I said, handing the coffee to you. As I lay my head back I closed my eyes and sighed.

"What's up?" you asked. I opened my eyes and looked to the side. Our heads were touching; you've mirrored my position exactly, trading the chocolate for coffee. I opened my mouth to answer, but no words came out. I shut my mouth without saying anything, feeling like a fish out of the water.

_I'll lose my voice  
>If you won't make a choice<br>I'll lose my head  
>If you go to him again<br>I'll lose my mind  
>If you won't take me back tonight<br>Take me back tonight  
>Take me back tonight<em>

"Matt," I whispered hoarsely. You looked up from the computer monitor and sighed.

"I'm not going. I can't. Even if you are a jerk, you're my jerk," you said, standing and walking over to me. "Besides, how many of your Mafia flunkies can you call a friend?"

I smiled at you and turned to walk away. Squeezing my eyes shut and thanking God that he's let me have one thing I truly cherish in this world.

_I can't stand this  
>I can't just watch you get hurt<br>You know which feeling's the right one  
>The right one<em>

I heard laughing coming from the street below. Our base had been blown up and most of the mafia had died. All that was left was me and Matt along with two nameless goons. I was a mess, most of the skin on my face and chest had been burned in the blast. But you were fine, I made sure you weren't there.

Then a bloodcurdling scream reached my ears. Suddenly, the burns felt like nothing. You were in pain; that was your scream. I raced down to the street and saw you on your hands and knees on the sidewalk. The two goons were laughing but not for long. I helped you up and watched you inside. I'd promised you before that I wouldn't let anyone hurt you. And even if it killed me, I would keep that promise. The cool air burned but I didn't care. I took my gun off my waist and popped off two rounds. They wouldn't hurt you again.

_This is what it looks like  
>This is what it feels like<br>And this is your heart beating faster,  
>Faster<em>

Hands on skin, flesh to flesh. Bodies moving in sync with each other. This is what I've dreamed of and this is better than I ever imagined. I lay my head on your chest. The sound of your beating heart lulling me to sleep, your hands tracing patterns on my back. Is this what it feels like? Is this love? I don't care if it's not, this is all I want. Tomorrow the plan begins. And by your 20th birthday this whole Kira mess will be over. We'll finally be free.

[[A/N Ok... So I suck at songfics... I don't care. R&R... there shall be cookies!]]


End file.
